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The LORD is my Shepherd

Key Verse: Ps23:1 "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want."

At this time I want to remember what You did through my life. Heavenly Father, please help me to find out Your grace and love in my life. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen!

I was born December 1, 1971. And my brother was born two years later. My father and mother loved my brother and me very much. And my grandmother loved me very much, too. My grandmother made me some special rice cake for my birthday every year. My father is very diligent, and my mother devoted her life to serve our family. Thus, my brother and I could get everything we needed.

Until I became a student, I spent most of my childhood in my grandmother's house in the country. I climbed mountains and caught fish in a river. In the winter season, my uncle made a sleigh for me. I liked that very much. I went to the field with my sleigh and enjoyed riding it on a frozen river.

But when I was 8 years old, I had to live with my parents in Seoul, because I to go to school. I felt very sad. I wanted to enjoy the country life. Thus, I begged my parents to let me return to the country. Finally, they permitted me to live in the country during summer and winter vacations only. I was happy again. I studied as hard as I can during school time. And I went to my grandmother’s house during vacation.

When I was 10 years old, I could not go to grandmother’s house again during vacation, because I got another hobby. That was making some plastic models – weapons, cars, airplanes, robots, etc. My parents did not like my new hobby. They thought that it was not worthy to help me to study. But I liked it. I loved it.

Two years later, I became a middle school student. In school, I got another hobby. That was making circuits. It was more excited than making models. I made a radio by myself. And I became a member of small club making circuits which was served by a mathematics teacher. When I was in the 3rd grade of middle school, I attended a radio-making contest as a representative of my school. I won second  prize. Many teachers said to me, “Congratulations!” After that, one teacher proposed me to join another club which was manipulating computer and managing students’ records by computer. I felt that using computer was fantastic. I could do everything I think by computer.

My father helped me to study computer with a tutor. Finally, I got a public computer engineer’s license when I was 13. I was the first student who obtained that license at age 13 in Korea. Thus, my father bought a computer for me. That was the first computer of my life.

When I was a high school student, a teacher assigned an Individual project. I tried to gather lots of materials and information. And I began to making an animated presentation film. I presented it in front of the  teacher and many students. Everyone was surprised. Later, I wanted to study mathematics in  college, because I thought that mathematics is the major subject of many eras. But my mother did not agree. So I made a circle on a map and I found that Hong-Ik University is the nearest campus to my parents’ house. I applied to the electronical engineering department of that university. Finally, I received admissions to that college. My father was proud of me very much.

After I received admission, I went to the college to check my health before entering. A woman came up to me and invited me to attend a winter school of Dongkyo Bible House. She said she could teach how to type the keyboard faster. I thought that it was good chance, I needed to learn how to type the keyboard faster. I began to come to the Bible house everyday and I began to study Genesis every day. At that time, I did not know that other sheep and shepherds studied only one lecture per week. But I finished studying Genesis before entering the college.

After becoming a college student, I studied the Bible with my shepherd every week. I studied only one lecture per week. My shepherd invited me to a Spring Bible Conference. I attended there. But I thought that it was not worthy for me. But my shepherd invited me to a Summer Bible Conference again. I did not want to attend there. But many shepherds came to me and invited me every day. Thus, I attended a Bible conference again.

When I was a child, while watching a TV show,  I heard:  “Knock and the door will be opened, Seek and you shall find.” I thought that it is a very good sentence. I kept it in mind. But I did not know who spoke it. In the Summer Bible Conference, 1990, I found who spoke it. He is Jesus. I could not move any more. I was frozen. After the Summer Bible Conference, I decided to be a shepherd. I wanted to know Jesus more. I came to the Bible house every morning and read the Bible, ate the Daily Bread, studied the Bible, wrote a testimony every week, and attended testimony meeting every week. Many shepherds gave their time to me and shared their time with me. God gave me many blessings. Thus, I began to go fishing and teach 1:1 Bible study with other campus students. Even though God gave me several chances to serve drama as a director for the Bible conferences. God gave a chance to serve a drama as a music director for the united Seoul Christmas worship service.

And God help to me to get very good scores in studying. I received a full scholarship for four years. I earned all A+ -- except for English and Korean class. I accumulated a 4.13 gpa. I became the first student who record this score in the college. When I was a senior in college, my professor asked me what did I want to do in graduate school? He recommended me to study more and deeply. And he said, “You can be a doctor better than me!”

I began to think and pray. Finally, I thought, “I can study any time I want to. But I cannot get apostleship later. Getting apostleship was possible only at this time.” Thus, I decided to get apostleship training instead of studying more, giving up a full scholarship to study for a PhD at Stanford University.  I received  apostleship training for one year after I graduated under Dr. Abraham T. Kim. For this time, I could find out who am I and who is Jesus. I received much grace from Pastor Abraham Kim and many shepherds. And I learned Jesus more by serving as a leader of the Daniel fellowship. After apostleship training, God gave a lot of grace to me. For example, God help me to work a small company instead of going to military.

During this period,  Missionary Sarah Kim proposed to me to marry with a shepherdess in the Fall of 1996. I accepted this marriage by faith and established a house church in January, 1997. But one year later, after my first daughter was born, I quit attending UBF. I forgot God’s grace and love. I began to love honor and money more than God.

In 2001, I established a small company. Many friends said to me, “I will help you, please make your own company and try to earn a lot of money.” I developed new technologies, such as, the License Plate Reading technology, and obtained 7 patents in Korea. And my company grew up two or three times every year. My office was in Gangnam in the most expensive area. I traveled to 35 countries. I became the vice chairman of the businessmen community. I controlled 80% of the market. I received much honor and earn much money, making millions of USD per year. When I visited a hotel, a bellboy opened the door of my car and guided me to my seat. Some people came to me and tried to learn how to make a big success. I lived a flashy lifestyle spending $5,000 per night in Gangnam, entertaining high government officials.

But when I begun to fight in court with the Korean Highway Corporation (KHC) over the rights to my patent, I encountered lots of problems. Finally, my company could not earn money. I tried to overcome this crisis but I could not. Moreover,  my wife had lung cancer and died in 2010. My company closed in 2011. I fell down in depression. I was disappointed very much. I thought that it was very unfair. I did not understand why my friends betrayed me. They earned a lot of money because of my company’s product and my patents. But when KHC pushed them, they did not buy my products any more.

At one time, many banks wanted to loan their money to me. At one time, many companies wanted to buy my company’s products and my technologies. But they all went away. They began to reject me. I fell down deeply in despair. I lost everything that I had – money, honor, friends and my wife. I became a lonely man.

At that time, God my Lord visited me in a dream. He invited me to return to him. When I woke up, I told my dream to my wife. We decided to return to UBF the next day. When we went to the Bible house, many shepherds accepted us and hugged us. Nobody said, “Welcome!” to me. But many shepherds said, “Welcome!” And two months later, my wife passed away. She did not feel any pain until she closed her eyes. This was God’s grace.

After my wife passed away, I tried to restore my company. I made a new project. But I could not earn money. Instead of me, another company earned their money by my project. Finally, my company was closed by the customs. Banks began to ask me to pay back my loans. They sold my house and my brother’s house, too. I could not endure it.  One afternoon, I was in deep depression, and when I opened my eyes, I was standing on a bridge. I was looking down on the Han River, ready to jump.

God my Lord came to me again. And He said softly, “Wonly, I’m your Good Shepherd. I’m all that you need.” Therefore, I repented that I tried to use God to solve my difficulties. But God wanted to show Himself to me. From that day, I repented everyday. I accepted my company’s closing. I gave up trying to restore my company. Just I tried to know Jesus as my Shepherd. I received much love and grace from God and many shepherds.

Two years later, Missionary Sarah Kim proposed to me to marry again. She said that she knew a woman who has five sons and worked in school as a teacher. But I could not accept this proposal. I said, “I’m not prepared yet!”

But M. Sarah Kim recommended her to me strongly; so I changed my mind. I just tried to meet her in the Summer of 2012. I confessed to her, “I have a lot of debt. Many people betrayed me. I’m nothing.” But she loved me. During the time I met with her, she did not change her mind. Thus, my heart melted. I loved her, too. I prepared a ring and I proposed to her after eating dinner in a pagoda at night. I confessed to her, “Will you marry me?”

 And two years later, God helped us to marry on May 2, 2014, in Seoul. Last year I found out that my Lord prepared something to restore me perfectly through establishing a new house church.

I made another project to earn money. But I could not get a chance with other companies. I asked to the Lord, “Why did you not help me?” He said, “Do you love me more than honor, money, and others?” I could not reply. I did not depend on God. I did not trust God. I did not accept God as my Lord. I’m very arrogant.

Thus, I repented and held onto my this year key verse, Mark11:22 and Det. 6:5. “Have faith in God,” and, love your God.  Praise the Lord who loves me very much and showed himself as my Shepherd. Thank God for giving me such a precious, faithful and beautiful wife and giving me new vision as a missionary. The Lord Jesus is my Good Shepherd. I’m not in want. I love Jesus. I love my wife. I love my 5 sons and 2 daughters.

One word : Jesus is my Good Shepherd.