News > Africa

March 23, 2013

“By the Blood of Jesus”

Key Verse: Romans 3 verse 24-25 “And are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished”

1.A life without Purpose

I am Appolonia Ndlovu; I was born on the first of December 1983, at Bulawayo, in a family of seven as the third born. I grew up with a quiet personality and a few friendships outside of my family, under various challenges.As a result, I lost confidence in others and considered my family and myself the least privileged. I thought that people around me were the major cause of all the hardships I encountered in my life. This molded me into a bitter, hurtful, selfish, unfaithful, and obnoxious person who was grieved at every turn without any hope in life at all.

As a result of my challenging childhood,I became very quiet and strong as I shouldered the responsibility of taking care of my family when my mom got sick. I became a traditional liar, hater towards those whom I deemed as the cause of my sufferings, ambitious, envious, and even jealous. I emulated many ungodly things, as they seemed normal and meaningful to my heart, which ached to have them. Lying frequently left my lips; it became a useful tool to attain what I needed especially when I became the sole breadwinner for my family. Yet, despair would hit me hard to the point of hopelessness, which left one option for me–lying.  Through lying I laid food on the table, and got financial assistance for my education and my siblings'. The saying “a habit is as hard as an iron” might have been made for me; it became hard for me to leave those illicit habits of mine.This carried me up to adulthood; I did not change my view or feelings toward others. I never viewed myself as sinful and hurtful toothers;instead I thought I was the innocent victim. I could not forgive those who despised me. I read the Bible often, be it at school or personally, particularly the New Testament, went to church, and attended Scripture Union. Yet the inner me never changed. I envied having aglamorous life, which I never had. In one word, my life was a life without a purpose and full of darkness and sin.

2. A Life of mission in Christ

I first came to UBF in 2009  through a friend, where I got the most precious chance to meet the Lord personally and lead a meaningful life of ministry. I began to attend Bible study meetings and Sunday worship services. At first, I did not understand anything about the Bible studies, testimony writings, and their significance. With time I got a chance to experience tent life, which even seemed more challenging as we had to wake up early every morning for daily bread meetings; I only attended those meetings as a duty that I had to fulfill. With time, through Ms. Rebekah’s graceful spiritual coaching, I began to appreciate their significance and to realize their importance for they made me realize my sinfulness and a need to repent to establish a personal relationship with God. I got a new insight about who Jesus is and of how much he has done for me through his death on the cross. I saw that all along I was living a sinful life without the knowledge of the Lord and began to repent. When I opened my heart, God built up faith in me and removed all fear and doubt.

 I graduated in 2011 October, with a Bachelor of Arts Honors in Linguistics  from UZ .I soon got a chance to work with Dr. Lee on a part time basis and became full time last year. This is the best opportunity that I ever have had in my life, for it gave me passion to be a woman of mission. Missionary Anna helped me to grow into a woman of prayer through one to one Bible studies and prayer support for the past year. God answered my prayer to be a Bible teacher by sending me five one to one sheep. However, my desire to achieve more in life, particularly academically, did not fade--it continued to grow and I aspired to become a computational or clinical linguist. I never wanted any career outside the field of Universities.  I in turn got an Invitation to apply at Brandeis in America and the linguistics department offered to help me get a place in Potsdam and Groningen, this January, which would be the best opportunity for me because I can secure a Ph. D. post easily after two years. But God had a different goal.

III. A NEW LIFE AS A STUDENT MISSIONARY CANDIDATE IN SOUTH KOREA.

It is a fact that our quests and desires to secure earthly achievements and materials are always our number one goal although we may deny that and claim that God’s mission is our sole priority. We may try as we can to suppress this desire but our hearts always look back at what we crave just as our great fathers of faith did. Coming up with a decision of faith is sacrificial and not easy, as it is for all of us. I also experienced a challenge in making a decision to go and study at Keimyung due to various practical reasons. When asked to consider going to Keimyung for a scholarship and in turn as a missionary student, it was hard for me to accept, although I was aware that it was God’s will. After a long consideration, I accepted the opportunity although I was aware of the hardships I may encounter financially as well as for my family. I considered Abraham’s faith that overcame all the uncertainties of reality and enabled him to leave for the Promised Land with nothing.He fully believed in his living God that he would stand by him in honor of his promise.The same applies to me I know God will certainly walk with me, meet all my needs and most importantly guard my heart that I do not fall into temptations.On my own, I am weak and powerless but with Christ, I am strong, and can overcome, and can fulfill God’s will. Still my family could not see me securing a brighter future in Korea or after my return but I clung to my choice although I could not easily accept leaving my sick powerless mother with my siblings. This may be partly because those around me expect a lot from me, that I cannot offer and always leave me in the lurch for making decision and choices--be it my family, missionaries, or friends. I found myself caught in between and in fear of betraying them and wanting the best for myself. I thank the Lord for his forgiving love for all of us. I found comfort in God‘s word and promise which had been my previous year's key verse. By Jesus’ blood,we can find peace in God if we fully trust him as the creator. He surely can meet all our needs by providing everything we want in life. In prayer, I asked God to overcome the fear that is in my heart and insecurity about my future.

According to Romans 8 verse 28, God is always ready to work things the best way for those who love him and trust in his name.In as much as it is hard to overcome these fears, with God it is possible.  I have to look beyond the present like a child who does not doubt a mother’s love. As Jesus is the answer to every question and solution to every problem, he will definitely stand by my side. He will take care of my ailing mother and siblings. I pray in repentance of my unbelief and spiritual blindness, which compels me to stay home and wait for a better chance. By faith, I will go to Korea and believe that God will bless my life as he always does. God will pave a way. I now struggle to live by his grace, to listen to his voice and to lead a pure life, which is mission oriented.I asked Jesus to forgive me for my lack of commitment and to prepare my heart for the long journey ahead of me and for him to make decisions for me since I seem confused. In addition,I pray that I may fulfill Jesus’ command in Acts 1:8, be a leading example to others, and become a responsible missionary if possible who teaches the word to campus students and put this above career goals. I may seem to be a purposeless individual before man but before God, I am his precious daughter whom he wants to use to accomplish his mission. I believe that all my sinful past has been completely wiped away when I accepted his blood on the cross. I now struggle to live by his grace, to listen to his voice and to lead a pure life, which is mission oriented.

 I have learnt from Dr. Lee to use every opportunity I have at its maximum, the best way I can to bring the lost souls to God through Bible studies and to fulfill God’s vision of disciple making through 1.1 Bible studies. The word of God has taught me to live for God, know that my source of happiness and joy is Jesus, trust in him and always give thanks to him in all circumstances. I have also learnt to lead a pure life and fully commit myself to the disciple-making ministry of Bible teaching although I am still struggling to be mature and a perfect candidate for the missionary position. I also pray that I may be a mother of prayer and that God’s vision for Zimbabwe to be a Kingdom of Priests, a Holy nation and a missionary sending country may be fulfilled through our disciple-making ministry. I thank God for Missionary James’ Sunday worship service messages that are uplifting and for prayer support. I am also thankful to all the missionaries' prayer support and love for me for the past three and a half years. I am also thankful to the Hanyang UBF co-workers' prayer support and the support they are going to offer me, as well as for accepting  me as part of their family. I pray that through God’s  training in Korea I can grow to be a woman of prayer and a mother of many nations like Sarah.

One Word: I have been saved by Christ’s blood on the cross