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HERE AM I, SEND ME!

Key VerseIsaiah 6:8 “Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, ‘Whom send I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here am I. Send me!’”

I. A life in despair

I was born in Cheju, Korea on Nov. 9, 1964. One word to describe my life before I met Jesus is despair. When I was young, I liked stories of famous scientists and I decided to become a great scientist. I learned that all great mathematicians were geniuses and they wrote many papers when they were as young as 15. I despaired because I was not a genius like the men I read about. I thought that I could not do anything important, and so my life had no meaning. My college life was terrible. Many of my friends seemed to enjoy college life by dating, drinking and playing billiards, but I lived in despair. Like others, I wanted to go to the USA for graduate study. My TOEFL score was very low, but I was accepted by the University of Chicago. At that time, I did not know that God had a greater purpose for me.

II. God’s calling to be a missionary

After graduation, I was invited to the summer Bible conference by Sh. Seung-Chan Kim, who was my classmate in high school and college. He had tried persistently to invite me to Jesus but I persistently rejected him, but when he said, “This is my last wish as a friend,” I felt sorry for him, and attended the conference. There, I found that the word of God was more powerful than my pride and I surrendered myself to God, repenting of my sins. After the conference, I studied John’s gospel with Sh. Helen Kim for one month, and went to Chicago in 1987 and studied the Bible with Missionary Wesley Jun. At that time, I did not even know that UBF headquarters was in Chicago. I had no idea about God’s mission. In January 1988, Dr. Samuel Lee delivered a message from Isaiah 6. I listened to God’s voice, “Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” I accepted God’s calling to be a missionary to American students with many tears. From that time on I began to see God’s salvation work. I began to go fishing and taught 7 sheep a week during my Ph.D. study.

III. Mission report

First, God blessed my academic study. Because of my despair, I had no strength to study hard. I chose an old American professor to be my advisor and he didn’t look sharp enough so I changed my advisor. The new advisor, an Indian, was very sharp and I looked like an elementary school kid before a teacher. I thought that I would be a genius like him if I studied under him. But when I took a qualifying exam, it was not good. So I asked him for a second chance. At that time I married Missionary Esther Kim on December 29, 1989. 5 days after marriage, I took the qualifying exam again, and it was worse than before. My advisor severely rebuked me to quit mathematics. I was fearful of being kicked out of school. But I believed that God, who called me to be a missionary in the USA would protect me. I went to the old advisor and he accepted me to be his student. At the 1990 Easter Bible conference God helped me to deliver the resurrection message from Luke’s gospel. The power of Jesus’ resurrection worked in my heart and drove out all my despair. I began to study hard and my wife helped me saying, “Don’t come home before 11 pm.” God saw my hard work and eating cold rice for lunch and dinner and blessed me with a Ph.D.

God gave me an opportunity to study at the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton, which is where Einstein was a professor. I despaired when I saw many smart people, but I decided to seek God first. I diligently went fishing to the Princeton University campus. Then God sent Shepherd Jason Perry, a graduate student in computer science. He is one of the most faithful men I ever met, and he grew up to be a very fruitful shepherd in New Jersey UBF. Then out of nowhere, God gave me inspiration to solve several outstanding problems with my collaborators. As a result, the University of Toronto offered me a professor position. At first, I hesitated to go to Canada, because I believed that God had called me to be a missionary in the USA. Through the prayers of Dr. Samuel Lee and Dr. Joseph Chung, I accepted it as God’s will to go to Toronto.

Second, God blessed our prayer for doubling our ministry. St. George UBF was started in 2001 with just my family. Soon Missionary David and Langue Chung’s family joined in 2002. I invited Dr. Jeremiah Lee as my postdoc and they served the ministry for three years faithfully. Dr. Jeremiah Lee got a tenure-track position at the University of Connecticut and left to pioneer that campus. They left three growing leaders behind: Paw Wah, Sheila Htoo, Joshua Columbus. I brought Missionary Peter Cho as my Ph.D. student from Gwanak III chapter. Peter Cho invited Samuel Mukwedeya who is a 4^th year student at University of Toronto. In 2009, our Sunday worship attendants were around 12. I really despaired how we can double our ministry by 2010 according to Dr. John Jun’s prayer topic. I also despaired about Missionary Grace Park who came from Chicago in 2008. She was 38 years old and had no prospect of marriage. She was very sorrowful, thinking that she would die as a barren woman. God heard her crying-out prayer, and out of nowhere, Missionary Peter Hong from Baltimore called and introduced Shepherd Don Lipsey. They established a house church on June 30, 2009, and they have a one year old son, Isaac. Through this experience, I newly learned that God is a living God who answers our prayer. I was convinced that God would answer our prayers for doubling the ministry.

In the summer of 2009, we decided to study the book of Joshua for 6 weeks and imitate Joshua’s strategy of conquering Jericho in conquering the University of Toronto, our Jericho. After studying each chapter, we imitated what the Israelites did. First, we fasted for Saturday and Sunday for 4 weeks. Instead of circumcision, we fasted as our expression of repentance and rolling away a sense of defeat. We were very surprised that our growing students participated in the fasting prayer. Even Samuel had a fasting prayer right before his final exam for his summer course. He could not concentrate due to hunger, but God helped him to get an A in his course. Second, we went to campus and set up 12 stones and prayed earnestly for God’s blessing. Third, on the week of Club Day, September 4, we marched around the campus early in the morning. For the first 6 days, we marched around once. But on the Club Day, we marched around 7 times and shouted, “May God’s kingdom come in Canada! May God conquer the University of Toronto with the gospel of Jesus Christ! Double our ministry by 2010!” We earnestly prayed that each person may get one new Bible student and God may send 12 new sheep that fall. God blessed our Club Day invitation ministry and sent 73 students to sign up. Among them God sent 10 students to one to one Bible study. Most of all God has raised up Paw Wah, Sheila Htoo as Bible teachers.

On January 2010, we moved to a new Bible center. It is very spacious and it can hold 40 people. We prayed that by the end of 5 year lease, God may fill it with 40 Sunday worship service attendants. At the beginning of the year, we had an average of 12 Sunday worship service attendants. I wondered how I could fill the place with God’s flock. But we prayed based on Isaiah 54:2, “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes.”

In the summer of 2010, inspired by Moravian Christians’ non-stop prayer chain for 100 years (two people prayed for every hour, 24/7), we prayed for 9 weeks. Since we did not have man-power, two people prayed for one hour each day. God answered our prayers. Out of nowhere, God sent Luke West from St. Louis UBF who has been studying the Bible with Missionary Mary Choi. He and Samuel have been leading praise and worship faithfully. In the fall, God sent many new sheep to our Sunday worship service and 1 to 1 Bible studies. Most importantly, God has raised up Samuel and Wah Paw as Bible teachers, and Paw Wah and Sheila grew to be mature shepherds for God’s flock. They attended the discipleship workshop in Chicago on 2 Samuel in October 2010. They together feed 8 sheep each week. God has indeed blessed our ministry to double in spirit and in number. We have an average of 25 attendants by the end of 2010.

As I look back on my life, I cannot but thank God for his grace of forgiveness of sins and for his calling to be a missionary in spite of my weaknesses and sins. I pray that God may continue to use me as his servant in this generation to raise 12 disciples of Jesus.

One word: Here am I; Send me.